*Surgeon General's warning: NOT for the faint of heart or those without a sense of humor!
The Do's:
-Do arrive on time. This is greatly appreciated by your local tour guide and provides us with the opportunity to answer any pre-tour questions, ie, Where is the bathroom?, How long is the tour?, Are the homeless people zombies or just drunk?, etc.
-Do wear comfortable shoes. Sure, your four inch heeled boots are adorable but after 20 minutes of walking, your feet with be screaming which will cause you to curse me and all of my unborn children. Remember that you signed up for a WALKING tour and slip on those sneakers before leaving the house!
-Do go to the bathroom before the tour. This brings us back to the first Golden Rule: arriving on time. If you arrive early enough, I will be able to tell you where an available bathroom is located. Don't wait until we are 45 minutes into the tour and your bladder has threatened to perform a mass exodus in your pants. This goes double for people who claim to have a weak bladder but still insist on bringing a large beverage with them.
-Do tip. I've discussed this topic at considerable length in some of my previous posts and it is something I feel strongly about. If you receive a service that you are very happy with, tipping your server, hair dresser, tour guide, etc, is a gracious and classy gesture. Tour guides are happy to accept any token of appreciation. Aside from a few dollars, I will also be thrilled to accept a glazed ham, a few chickens, a large bag of Hershey's Kisses or a box of Brita water filters. I'm not picky, I'm practical.
The Don'ts:
-Don't roll your eyes when you're asked to silence your cell phone. This is common courtesy for me and for everyone else on the tour. No one wants to hear your oh-so-cute ring tone or message alert when we are in the middle of a story. If you're too busy with texting your bestie, then don't go on a tour. I'm not asking you to turn your phone off, just put it on silent. The texts and the calls can wait until the story is over.
-Don't make fun of the tour guide. This is for all the hecklers out there. You may think that you're being funny but mocking a person trying to do their job just makes you look like an immature, insecure, egocentric ass. Nothing ruins a tour more than by causing people to either laugh because they are so uncomfortable or by making the other guests angry. Remember, you paid to go on the tour, so let me do my job.
-Don't let the homeless people scare you. They are not demons, they are not zombies and they do not want to rape you. I shouldn't even have this on my list but alas....
-Don't forget to have fun! This is very important. Remember that although tours are educational, they are also meant to be lots of fun! I have had some great times telling stories; my goal is to get you to enjoy them with me. If you had a great time, learned a little and had some laughs, then I did my job.
This concludes my sacred lists of Do's and Don'ts. Please pass the word along.
In closing, I will share a make-up creation that I put together for a private tour earlier this month. (see below)
The goal was to achieve a striking image of macabre beauty. I will call this a bloody success.
Happy New Year to you all. I hope that this coming year brings you all the joy that your hearts desire!
Until next year, ;-)
~Story Siren
No comments:
Post a Comment