The Rude, The Lewd and The Crude

One of the many things I love about my job is that you never know what type of people you may encounter while on the tour.  I've had a homeless man sing opera in Italian, German and French to me, I've had people who were not even on the tour ask to have their picture taken with me, people have brought me hot chocolate during the chilly months and iced tea during the hot months.  And I've had countless people shout from from across the street that they approve of my fabulous hat.  Good times overall.

Then there are the few individuals that make my tours unpleasantly memorable.  The ones who walk across the street to get away from me (I do sometimes look pretty ghastly!),  the ones who make fun of my fabulous hat, and my favorite, the ones who try to follow along with my group halfway into the tour and try to hear the stories for free.  This has been attempted several times and no one has been successful because I have this thing called vision, and I can do this weird thing called counting.  I know who starts the tour with me- I make eye contact, I learn their names and I shake their hands.  I'll let the intruders linger for a few minutes, then stop the story and very nicely inform them that if they go online to -insert website- they can have their own tour set up.  At this point the intruder has one of several reactions:

1- "Pshhhh, whatever." And walks away.

2- "Why can't I just stay and watch yours?"

3- "Your story was lame anyway."

4- "#@$%&*!"

None of these people bother me and they serve as extra entertainment for my brave thrill-seekers. 

Tonight, however, I had a whole new experience of weird that bears telling.  The evening started with a rather ghoulish make-up design and my fabulous hat. (see below)

I call this look "Blood is Yummy". 

I had fun with it and was excited to troll the streets with my new design.  The night was great and my guests were a delight.  Then we get to the haunted book store, one of my favorite stops.  I have my back to the store so that my guests can look at me and see the store while I tell the creepy story.  I'm just getting to one of the juicy moments when two drunk guys walk around the corner in our direction.  As they pass us, one of them turns, sees me, and when he's no less than ten feet away he hollers to his friend,

"Oh my GOD!  Did you see that f*$#@*g bitch's face?!  She is UGLY!" 

After saying this loud enough for everyone on the street to hear, they both turn to look at me.  My group is collectively holding their breath, waiting to see what would happen next.  I very lovingly blow a kiss to both men and wave good-bye.  I then confide to my group that men are often frightened when they are inexplicably attracted to something, such as me. My group was awesome!  One guy said to me and the others that both of those guys have very bad karma coming their way.  One of the girls said, "They're just jealous." 
Even negative things often have a way of blossoming into something positive.

In the end, it's all in good fun and it makes for a very interesting night. 

Until next time,

~Story Siren