Then there are nights like tonight. They don't occur often; I might get a sour group once every few months. It keeps me humble and after tonight, I think I might be set for at least the next six months. I started off doing great; I had fun putting on my goth-chic make-up and I was pleased with the result. (See below.)
I arrived on the scene and I was very excited to get the tour started. The weather was nice (until it rained) and I had a spring in my step. Then the real story begins.
There are five characters in this story- myself, a young lady who we shall call Girlfriend, her boyfriend who we shall call Rude Boyfriend, a young woman we shall call Daughter and her mother who we shall call Fussy Mom.
Fussy Mom and Daughter show up first. Normally before a tour I like to chat my group up and prep them for what's ahead on the tour. I like to ask questions to get to know them a little bit, ie, "Are you from Florida?", "Is this your first ghost tour?", "Are you a believer in the paranormal?", "Do you scare easily?", etc, just for fun. Daughter was very easy to talk with and she asked some great questions about what the tour entailed. Fussy Mom on the other hand was a fan of the one-word-answers. "Yes." "No." "Thanks." I couldn't really get her to open up.
Then Girlfriend and Rude Boyfriend arrive. It was obvious that Girlfriend had talked Rude Boyfriend into going on a ghost tour with her and he didn't hide the fact the he did not want to be there. He looked bored and annoyed before we even got the tour started. From my opening welcome speech all the way to the very end of the final story, Rude Boyfriend spent the whole tour doing one of two things: not looking at or listening to me, or staring at me with a disgusted look while periodically rolling his eyes. He was pretty bad, but I've dealt with worse.
Fussy Mom was a different kind of difficult. She was a complainer. Here are some highlights from Fussy Mom's incessant barrage of bitching:
"Why are we walking? Where is the bus?"
- I had to gently remind her that she and her daughter had signed up for a walking tour.
"Why can't we go inside the places you're talking about? The tour would be so much more interesting if we could go inside."
- The tour is at night, when the businesses, shops and cemeteries are closed. I had to very nicely point this out.
"Why is it raining? Does it always rain on these tours?"
- Naturally, since I control the weather it was very stupid of me to cause it to rain during my tour.
"How much longer is this going to be?"
- About 30 more minutes, which meant that she had another half hour to come up with more creative and insightful questions for me to answer.
"I'm so hungry."
- This last was repeated several times. Perhaps she assumed that if she complained long enough I would pull a sandwich out of my purse.
And my favorite...
During one of my stories I had to reach into my purse for a tissue. Fussy Mom thought I was going to bring out a neat trinket or prop related to the story. When it turned out to only be a tissue, she let out an irritated sigh. I laughed it off by saying, "Sorry, no props for this story." To which she replied, "I just thought something interesting was going to happen."
People like Fussy Mom and Rude Boyfriend help keep me on my toes.
At the end of every tour, I always conclude it by thanking my group for coming on the adventure with me. This is usually followed by my group generously offering me a few bucks as a tip. I even wear a cute button which reads, "Tips Make Tour Guides Happy". For anyone who sings for their supper, they know that tips are not required but they are always appreciated. Offering a tip is gracious and polite thing to do.
I guess my group tonight missed the memo.
Fussy Mom and Daughter hurried off to a nearby pub. Rude Boyfriend wanted to know what one of the buildings looked like from the other side. Both couples ran off in separate directions. At least Girlfriend has the decency to call out "Good night!" as Rude Boyfriend dragged her away. No tip from anyone. Again, tips are not required, but they are always appreciated. Many people don't realize it but not tipping your tour guide is just as rude as not tipping your server. No tip, despite the fact that I worked very hard to make sure that those people had a great time. Sometimes people just don't gel. Fussy Mom was dissatisfied and Rude Boyfriend didn't even want to be there. Sometimes an unlucky tour guide just gets a sour bunch.
In all honesty, I can't really complain. Out of every five months of tours I might get one sour bunch. Most of the time my groups have been wonderful, interested and eager to listen. The good really does outweigh the bad. Which means that when the bad does happen, it is often funny and always memorable. It takes the sour groups to make me appreciate my fabulous groups even more.
Until next time,
~Story Siren
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